I’ve spent about twenty four hours in transit in the last 3 days or so. Cheap tickets are cheap for a reason. Hello, 5 mph trainride to Byron Bay. It was beautiful though, green for miles. Refreshing.
Nevertheless, I think I needed it. It was starting to dawn on me that my time in Australia is really coming to a close. But for that to sink in, I had to realize that I had even had…time in Australia. Say wha?
The conversation going on in my head wasn’t pretty or very sane.
I had to keep rephrasing things over and over in my head so that the little guy inside it would finally grasp the concept. He was messing with my mind. Perpetual mind-fuck (pardon, but how else do you describe such a thing?) But that’s what it felt like.
“What? I’ve been in Australia for five months? I’ve been away from home for five months? I’ve made…friends here? I’ve been living by the beach? I’ve been living the daily life of an Australian student? I’ve been using public transport? I say ‘uni’ and ‘no worries’ and drink boxed wine?”
Yes, Yael. Yes. All of those things, yes.
B…b…b…but when? …How?
I know there were moments in the first few months where I couldn’t believe I was here, mostly because I kept thinking about home. And then there were the last few months where everything felt quite normal. Normal life, with friends, studying, going out… it’s kind of hard to sum all that up and say…well, it’s over now.
That’s what my head was telling me. Say goodbye. You’ll probably never see these people again. You may not even come back here, to where you’ve spent five months, independently, learning so much about yourself and other people and life. I can tell you honestly, if you’d asked me three months ago, I would have told you I probably wouldn’t miss this place that much. I was so wrong. I am coming to realize how much this place did for me. How many amazing experiences I’ve had here, that won’t be matched by anything else. They are different in kind, in their spirit, in that they happened when they happened and where they happened.
I keep thinking about how when I go home to all those people I’ve missed so much, life’s just going to pick up where it left off and go go go. And it’s going to feel a little weird at first, but then so natural—like I’d never even left. My semester in Australia will be floating atop my home life. A separate entity completely.
It bothered me for a while.
A long while.
12 hours on a train, a while.
But then I realized something.
…it’s okay. It’s really okay.
I got to experience a life away from home. It was necessary, and it was good. It was really good for me. Better than I can consciously realize, I’m sure, as is the nature of these types of experiences. I am so grateful for the help my parents gave me so that I could have this experience. Endlessly grateful. And to all of the people I love so much in my life for helping me through the tougher times while over here.
This experience is one I’ll have trouble describing when I get that “Tell me all about your trip!” command from all of my loving friends and family. It’ll be hard to explain.
The different kinds of people I’ve met, the best friends I made, the places I’ve seen—I’ve been so lucky. Rather than dwell on the fact that my experience is over, I’d rather think about the lasting effect it’s going to have on me. And the rejuvenation it’ll provide when I look back to it in the future. I achieved something I wasn’t really sure I could achieve. And now that I’ve done that? Well…guess there’s no telling what else I can do.
And, even better than that.
I’m lucky enough to be able to go home to more people I love, to a place I love, with all of these happy memories strapped to my back.
I could not be more thankful, more appreciative, more loving of life and all of the people who make mine as special as it is.
Thank you, Australia.
Here’s to enjoying the last week of normal life in Sydney.
And here’s to traveling with the parents I’ve missed to death in a week.
xxx
Just spent about ten minutes balancing a flashcard on my index finger. Productivity at it’s finest.
only half
shits and giggles
sleeping to dreammmm
anthony bushong, i need your guitar skills and harmoniezzzz!
..meep :) this might be an adele cover…and it might not be.
and I might have just made the best pb and j ever. but really.
procrastination gettin tha best of meeeeeee
time to study. fo reals. reals reals.
O:-) uhhhhh…guess it’s the first song I’ve written in australia, so it goes in ze australia blog.
I had one of those mornings. My stresses focused mainly on money and bus passes. And believe me, every thing went wrong. I’ll spare you the details. Plus, there was no room for my apple in my overstuffed bag. So I had to eat it.
Sounds…horrible. Right? Right?
Yeah, I know it’s all b.s. Everything seems a million times worse when you’re in it, when you’re the vibration, the catalyst, hitting every one of those dominoes into the ground and all you can do to keep from falling down is hold your head high, back straight, and brace yourself…but you fall anyway, until that little pity party (thrown by Mr. Negativity) that started it in the first place is all over and done with.
It followed me all morning. I molded my face into a frown and head out to face the day I was dreading. School. Bleh. Presentation. Bleh. Movement. Bleh.
I kept speaking to people about how their last two days have been shit. It was as if this weird sad something was attacking us all.
So, I called my mother. Yes, I still do that, and often, because I love her, and because we talk all the time, and I’m not ashamed of it (all you haters;] ). And she told me “it must be global.” Because she felt it too. That downward pulling. But she said then to take a deep breath, and think positively, even more positively than normal actually since the negativity seems to be so strong, everywhere. And I got my shit together. “People Should Smile More” by Newton Faulkner couldn’t have come onto my ipod at a better time. I realize even though it feels good to feel bad sometimes, it feels better to feel good.
So, friends. If you’re feeling down, try and smile. Realize that you’ve got everything you could need. You’re lucky, you’re blessed. No one wants to come to your pity party. Ever. No one, I swear. We’re lucky. There are lots who aren’t, but we are.
Appreciate that.
